The social impact of assertiveness. Research findings and clinical implications.

Delamater et al. (1986) pulled together every study they could find on assertiveness.

They asked one question: how do people feel about someone who acts assertive?

The review looked at lab studies, therapy notes, and real-world chats.

Assertive people are seen as skilled, but not always liked.

Sex, empathy, and the setting change how the behavior lands.

In short, competence and likability often pull in opposite directions.

Green et al. (1984) seems to disagree. Their female models got higher likability scores when they spoke up.

The twist: those models gave praise, not refusals. Positive assertiveness feels different.

Osnes et al. (1986) and White (1986) back the main point. Adding small talk or empathy keeps the skill while saving face.

Rosen (1987) shows the fix works in real life. Disabled college students gained assertive moves after a short BST course.

You can teach the skill, but you must also teach the wrapper.

Have clients rehearse the words, then add a friendly comment or brief empathy line.

Pick role-play scenes that match their daily life—praise at work, calm refusal at home.

This keeps the new behavior from backfiring and boosts the odds it sticks.