'We just stick together': how disabled teens negotiate stigma to create lasting friendship.
Disabled teens turn shared stigma into friendship when they can openly claim disability and pick peers who understand the struggle.
01Research in Context
What this study did
N (2013) talked with disabled teens about how they make and keep friends.
The teens told stories about facing stigma at school and in their neighborhoods.
Researchers listened for ways the kids turned stigma into friendship glue.
What they found
The teens said owning their disability out loud helped them find real friends.
They looked for other kids who knew what stigma felt like.
Some chose disability-only clubs or lunch tables where they felt safe.
How this fits with other research
Lim et al. (2021) show stigma can shrink social life. Their survey found autistic teens whose caregivers felt more stigma spent less time with peers and more time anxious. N (2013) flips the script: teens who claim the label can use shared stigma to build bonds.
Lotfizadeh et al. (2020) and O'Connor et al. (2024) pool many studies and agree stigma hurts. Their reviews say autistic adolescents often feel “different” and that this hurts mental health. N (2013) adds a hopeful layer—when teens pick peers who also feel “different,” the label can become a bridge, not just a burden.
Sedgewick et al. (2019) extend the idea to gender. Autistic girls face more friendship conflict than autistic boys, but they still want the same closeness. N (2013) did not split by gender, yet both papers say friendship programs must give kids space to choose peers who “get it.”
Why it matters
You can help disabled clients see stigma as a possible meeting point, not only a wound. Try peer-matching that lets teens opt into disability-affirming groups. Ask, “Who else here knows what this feels like?” and watch new bonds form.
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02At a glance
03Original abstract
BACKGROUND: Friendship is a crucial relationship offering practical support, enjoyment and improved health. When disability is added into the mix, the permutations of friendship shift. Despite the presence of inclusive social policies many disabled teens continue to experience stigma and social isolation, yet some teens are able to establish long-term friendships. METHODS: A nuanced understanding about how disabled teens navigate stigma to create lasting friendships was constructed through this qualitative study. Seven boys and seven girls between the ages 15 to 20 years who experienced disability engaged in research interviews and participant observation sessions. Nine adults were also interviewed. A critical approach to data analysis was complimented by coding in Atlas.ti. RESULTS: This article describes the strategies used by these disabled teens to make and keep friends: disrupting norms about friendship, coming out as disabled, connecting through stigma and choosing self-exclusion. CONCLUSION: Disabled teens in this study felt a greater sense of belonging when with peers who shared the disability experience, thus self-exclusion was a viable strategy for creating sustainable friendships in the context of oppression. Social policy informed by the experiences of disabled youth in the current study will more effectively promote social inclusion by first acknowledging and then disrupting ableism.
Journal of intellectual disability research : JIDR, 2013 · doi:10.1111/j.1365-2788.2012.01541.x