How are they doing? Listening as fathers of children with autism spectrum disorder compare themselves to fathers of children who are typically developing.
Dads of autistic kids feel both envy and pride—programs must give them room to voice both.
01Research in Context
What this study did
Cheuk et al. (2016) sat down with UK dads who have autistic kids. They asked the dads to talk about how they feel next to dads of kids without autism.
The team recorded long chats. They looked for themes in the dads' own words.
What they found
Every dad loved his child. Yet many felt a sting when they watched other dads play catch or share jokes that their own child could not do.
The dads also spoke of pride in their child's unique spark. They held both feelings—jealousy and gratitude—at the same time.
How this fits with other research
Fernańdez-Alcántara et al. (2016) found the same year that mums and dads follow a clear grief path after diagnosis. Samantha et al. add the dad-to-dad comparison layer to that grief story.
Seymour et al. (2018) later counted risk factors for dad distress: past depression, poor job control, and little support. These numbers back up the raw quotes from Samantha et al.
Hsu et al. (2025) show that self-compassion training lowers stress for autism parents. This offers a concrete tool for the mixed feelings Samantha et al. uncovered.
Why it matters
If you run parent groups, carve out time for dads to speak freely. Let them say they envy the neighbour's kick-about while still loving their own kid. Normalize both truths in the same breath. Offer self-compassion exercises or peer dad meet-ups; the data show these moves cut distress and boost parenting confidence.
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02At a glance
03Original abstract
The growing prevalence of autism spectrum disorder is accompanied by ongoing efforts to understand and support parents in the face of challenges related to their child's autism spectrum disorder. Although fathers are increasingly hands-on in raising children, research focus on parenting children with autism spectrum disorder continues to be skewed toward experiences of mothers. Our purpose in this article is to contribute understandings of how fathers of children with autism spectrum disorder perceive themselves to be managing, and we undertake this by examining comparisons fathers of children with autism spectrum disorder make between their parenting experiences and experiences of fathers of typically developing children. A purposive sample of 28 fathers of children (aged 2-13 years) with autism spectrum disorder living in an urban center in Western Canada participated in in-depth interviews about their parenting successes and challenges. We found fathers speak of universal fathering experiences yet articulate their own sense of loss and efforts to come to terms with unanticipated demands associated with autism spectrum disorder. Fathers of children with autism spectrum disorder feel "pangs of jealousy" toward fathers of typically developing children, yet they are keenly attentive to their own child's development and convey a sense of gratitude for their child's capabilities and personality amidst an appreciation for trials and triumphs of fathering in general and fathering a child with autism spectrum disorder in particular.
Autism : the international journal of research and practice, 2016 · doi:10.1177/1362361315584464