An Exploratory Study of Autism Traits and Parenting.

Dissanayake et al. (2020) sent online surveys to parents of typically developing kids. They asked how many autism traits the parents saw in themselves and how hard parenting felt.

The team looked at three things: daily parenting hassles, warmth and conflict with the child, and parents’ own confidence.

Parents who rated themselves high on autism traits said parenting was more stressful and they clashed more with their kids.

Surprise: these parents still felt just as good about their parenting skills. The trouble was in the day-to-day relationship, not in self-esteem.

Marriott et al. (2022) talked to autistic parents who also have autistic kids. They found the same stress, plus a new twist: traits can flow both ways—parent and child trigger each other.

Bölte et al. (2007) and Bouras et al. (2004) showed earlier that autism relatives often carry quiet traits like anxiety or reserved style. Cheryl’s work moves the lens from “relatives” to “everyday parenting moments.”

Hsu et al. (2025) found parents of autistic kids feel low self-compassion. Cheryl saw no dip in parenting confidence, so the fix may be teaching relationship skills, not boosting self-love.

If a parent scores high on an autism-trait checklist, don’t assume low confidence. Target concrete skills: turn-taking games, clear daily schedules, and calm-down plans for both parent and child. These tweaks lower conflict and keep the bond warm without touching self-esteem.