Perception of refusal assertion. The effects of conversational comments and compliments.
Add a warm comment to refusal drills—observers like the speaker far more, especially males.
01Research in Context
What this study did
The researcher filmed adults saying no to an unfair request. Half added a friendly comment or compliment before the refusal. College students then rated how much they liked the speaker.
The study ran in 1986 with the student judges. Each judge watched one short clip and filled out a likability scale.
What they found
Refusals with a warm comment scored higher than plain refusals. The boost was larger for male speakers.
In numbers, the social penalty for saying no was cut in half when a short pleasantry came first.
How this fits with other research
Green et al. (1984) already showed that assertive women were liked more than passive women. White (1986) extends that idea: you can make the assertive person even more likable by adding everyday small talk.
Vassos et al. (2023) used peer feedback to improve self-views after video practice. Both studies teach the same lesson: a quick verbal add-on can soften social risk.
Ortiz et al. (2022) asked whether extra training parts are worth the time. White (1986) answers yes for assertiveness packages—just one sentence is enough to move observer ratings.
Why it matters
When you teach refusal skills, script a friendly opener. "I like your idea, but I can’t help this time" keeps relationships intact. Practice the combo in role-play and measure likability with short post-session surveys.
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02At a glance
03Original abstract
Research on the perception of assertive behavior has suggested that although assertion may result in compliance with one's requests, assertion alone may be negatively evaluated. Recent research has suggested that an opportunity to observe models in commendatory situations may mitigate the negative impact of assertion. This study evaluated whether an opportunity to observe models in conversational situations could also mitigate the negative impact of assertion. Findings suggested that the addition of conversational comments to an individual's repertoire of social skills mitigated the negative perceptions of assertion alone. When compared with commendatory comments, conversational comments resulted in similar evaluations for females and more favorable evaluations for males. Also, the findings of the present study suggest a cumulative impact of exposure to assertion, implying possible artifactual results in some previous perception of assertiveness research.
Behavior modification, 1986 · doi:10.1177/01454455860104006