"The System Sweeps it Under the Rug": Educational Staff's Perspectives on Romantic Relationships Among Autistic Adolescents.
Israeli special-ed staff treat autistic teens as asexual and want a romance curriculum to fix the gap.
01Research in Context
What this study did
Carmit-Shmerler et al. (2025) talked with 20 Israeli special-ed teachers and aides. They asked how staff view romance and dating for autistic teens. The team recorded and coded every answer.
What they found
Staff said the teens 'cannot really love.' They admitted they hide the topic and have no lessons for it. Every worker wanted training and a new curriculum that teaches flirting, consent, and safety.
How this fits with other research
McKinlay et al. (2022) heard parents say schools ignore social life too. Parents saw kids left out at lunch and recess. Both studies show the same hole: staff skip the social piece.
Øverland et al. (2025) asked clinicians how they adapt for autistic clients. Clinics said they 'presume competence' and let patients lead. That view clashes with the school staff who presume incompetence in love. The gap is setting, not fact—hospital workers trust autistic decision-making, school workers do not.
Williams (2026) let autistic adults describe mental-health wards. They felt staff saw them as children. Carmit-Noa et al. echo this: professionals downgrade autistic maturity, whether the topic is romance or ward rules.
Why it matters
If you write a social-skills goal, add flirtation, break-ups, and online safety. Ask the teen what they want to learn. Push your district to buy a relationship curriculum instead of only hygiene lessons. When you presume competence, you teach staff as much as you teach the student.
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02At a glance
03Original abstract
Article 23 of the Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (CRPD) calls to recognize the right of people with disabilities to have romantic relationships, marry and raise children. However, to date, research has mainly focused on this issue in relation to people with physical or intellectual disabilities. Less is known about romantic relationships among autistic adolescents and how others in their immediate environment, such as educational staff, perceive and refer to this issue. To address this gap, the present study aimed to understand and describe the perspectives of educational staff on the romantic relationships of autistic adolescents, including their views regarding the right and capability of adolescents to form and maintain such relationships, and the education system's role in providing relevant knowledge and skills. A descriptive phenomenological qualitative approach was applied. Face-to-face interviews were conducted with 20 educational staff members from special education schools in Israel. Four main themes emerged from the thematic analysis of the interviews: (1) Stigmatic attitudes regarding the ability of autistic adolescents to develop romantic relationships; (2) Preventive sexual education as a priority; (3) Behavioral implications of educational neglect; and (4) Recommended practices. The findings highlight the need for macro- and micro-level change by developing an adapted curriculum that views romantic relationships as positive and constructive and eliminating stigmatic perceptions among educational staff. Another recommendation is to provide educational staff with emotional and practical preparation for addressing the issue of romantic relationships in class.
Journal of autism and developmental disorders, 2025 · doi:10.1111/PERE.12397