Looking at the future and seeing the past: the challenge of the middle years of parenting a child with intellectual disabilities.
Mid-life moms of teens with ID feel they lose their own identity—build parent support plans that speak to the mother’s life stage, not only the child’s goals.
01Research in Context
What this study did
Aznar et al. (2005) talked with mothers of teens who have intellectual disabilities.
They asked how the women felt about life in the middle years of parenting.
The team used open interviews and looked for common themes.
What they found
Mothers said they no longer felt like “regular” parents.
Their own sense of self was shaken as their child grew older.
They needed help that matched their life stage, not just their child’s goals.
How this fits with other research
Adams et al. (2021) pooled 32 studies and showed these moms also have more anxiety and depression.
The numbers back up the feelings S et al. heard in 2005.
McGeown et al. (2013) talked to the same group about school-leaving plans.
They found late, messy transition talks add more stress, which fits the identity strain theme.
Winburn et al. (2014) showed moms feel fear and role conflict when teens show sexual interest.
Again, the moms’ own identity clash keeps showing up across studies.
Why it matters
If you write goals or run parent training, ask the mom about her own needs too.
Add questions about her mood, social life, and future plans.
A ten-minute check-in can guide you to supports that restore her sense of self and keep the whole family moving forward.
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02At a glance
03Original abstract
BACKGROUND: This paper seeks to understand and conceptualize the experience of mothers of adolescents with intellectual disabilities (IDs) at a time in their lives which others have characterized as 'mid-life' or the 'middle years of parenting'. The concerns of the paper are the lifecourse concerns in mothers' own lives and with biographical elements of becoming and being such a parent. METHODS: Qualitative interviews were conducted with mothers of adolescents with IDs. The average age of mothers was 48 years. Typically parents were interviewed on two to three occasions. RESULTS: The data suggest that despite the difficulties they faced, these parents had constructed a 'life-as-ordinary' in the early phase of their parental careers. They saw themselves as 'ordinary mothers'. However, the social content and events of the middle years of parenting prompt a realization that their lives and, for some, their sense of 'self', are undergoing considerable change. Mothers are forced to look over their lives to find the meaning and significance of these events. For some, there is biographical reinforcement. For others, there is only disruption. DISCUSSION: The overall picture of these years is one of considerable changes and challenges, and underlines the need for a focus on the lifecourse concerns of parents as well as their children. The implications of the data for further research and service development are discussed in the context of identity theory.
Journal of intellectual disability research : JIDR, 2005 · doi:10.1111/j.1365-2788.2005.00675.x