'Sometimes I want to play by myself': Understanding what friendship means to children with autism in mainstream primary schools.
Ask the autistic child what friendship means to them before you write social goals—some kids are satisfied playing alone and adult-driven inclusion can backfire.
01Research in Context
What this study did
The researchers asked primary-school children with autism what friendship means to them.
They compared the answers with classmates who do not have autism.
The team also looked at how happy each child felt about their own friendships.
What they found
Autistic pupils gave their friendships lower scores than other kids.
Still, most said they felt okay about the friends they had.
Wanting to be with people, not IQ or mind-reading skill, best explained the differences.
How this fits with other research
Harkins et al. (2023) later showed that older autistic boys with more anxiety end up with fewer close friends.
Ratcliffe et al. (2015) found that weaker social skills predict bigger mental-health problems in the same age range.
Hood et al. (2022) gives you a ready tool: short BST lessons that teach kids how to spot shared interests, the first step the target paper says adults often skip.
Tesfaye et al. (2023) widens the lens to teens who ask for autonomy and self-defined connection, echoing the target’s warning to ask before pushing inclusion.
Why it matters
Before you write a social goal, ask the child what kind of friendship they actually want.
Some kids are happy to play alone; pushing peer time can backfire and raise anxiety.
Use quick preference interviews and Hood’s shared-interest drill to honor voice and build skills that fit the child, not the adult schedule.
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02At a glance
03Original abstract
Research has shown that friendship impacts the overall experience of mainstream school for autistic children. Using a unique combination of quantitative, qualitative and social network methods, we investigated the extent and nature of autistic children's friendships from their perspective and from those of their mothers, teachers and classroom peers. Consistent with previous research, children with autism (n = 12), aged between 9 and 11 years, rated their friendships to be of poorer quality than their non-autistic classroom peers (n = 11). There was, however, much variability in autistic children's ratings, which, unexpectedly, was related to neither children's cognitive ability nor their theory of mind ability. Encouragingly, the children generally reported satisfaction with their friendships, and although no child was socially isolated, the degree of inclusion in friendship networks varied widely. Furthermore, autistic children's social motivation emerged as a key factor in parents' and teachers' reports in determining both the nature and extent of their friendships. Adults played an active role in supporting children's friendships, but this sometimes conflicted with what the children wanted. These findings highlight the need to ascertain the perspectives of young people with autism on their friendships and to consider the social and ethical implications of when and how to intervene.
Autism : the international journal of research and practice, 2013 · doi:10.1177/1362361312467866