The use of skilled strategies in social interactions by groups high and low in self-reported social skill.
Adults who rate themselves socially skilled give kind, detailed replies to awkward requests, giving you a ready-made script to teach.
01Research in Context
What this study did
Shelley et al. (2012) asked adults to rate their own social skills. Then they gave everyone the same awkward social vignettes. One example: a friend offers you a ride, but you already have a ride. What do you say?
The team compared the answers from people who said they were great at social stuff with people who said they struggled.
What they found
High-skill adults wrote replies that protected the other person's feelings. They thanked the friend, gave a short reason, and offered to meet later. Their tone stayed warm.
Low-skill adults mostly said "no thanks" or "I have a ride." The answers were shorter and sounded colder.
How this fits with other research
Busch et al. (2010) seems to say the opposite. In that study kids with HFASD were less strategic than typical peers when describing themselves to an audience. The key difference is population: Shelley looked at neurotypical adults, while M et al. looked at youth with autism. Skill gaps widen when autism is in the mix.
Eussen et al. (2016) extends the story. They showed that strategic self-promotion in ASD actually drops during the teen years. Shelley’s high-skill adults may have built their smooth replies over many years of practice.
Peters et al. (2018) pull it together. Their review says teaching social skills in real activities works better than drilling perspective-taking alone. Shelley’s vignettes are exactly the kind of real activity Peters recommends.
Why it matters
You now have a clear picture of the end goal: polite, other-focused replies that keep the friendship intact. Use Shelley’s vignettes as teaching scripts. Role-play the awkward moment, then show the high-skill model. Ask your learner to swap out words while keeping the same warm structure. Over time the scripted pieces become natural.
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02At a glance
03Original abstract
Individuals high or low in self-reported social skill were recruited opportunistically. When presented with everyday social scenarios ending with an awkward request or offer, the high social skill participants more often used sophisticated strategies that showed greater consideration for all parties. By contrast, the low skill participants were more reliant on simple strategies including acquiescence or refusal, and the emotional tone of their responses was less positive. Greater reliance on sophisticated rather than simple strategies may be linked to more successful social interactions. The potential implications are considered for understanding everyday performance in skilled individuals and populations with limited social skills, such as those with autistic spectrum disorders.
Journal of autism and developmental disorders, 2012 · doi:10.1007/s10803-011-1381-z