By Matt Harrington, BCBA · Behaviorist Book Club · Research-backed answers for behavior analysts
Traditional social skills instruction typically identifies deficits by comparing the individual's behavior to neurotypical norms and teaches skills to reduce those gaps. Neurodivergent-affirming instruction, by contrast, respects the individual's natural communication style, focuses on building genuine social connections rather than surface-level conformity, addresses the social environment as well as the individual, and explicitly considers the costs of masking. Affirming instruction asks what social skills the individual genuinely needs to achieve their own social goals rather than what behaviors they need to perform to appear more neurotypical.
Social masking or camouflaging involves suppressing natural neurodivergent behaviors and performing neurotypical social behaviors to fit in. This might include forcing eye contact, suppressing stimming, scripting conversations, or mimicking others' social expressions. Research has documented that extensive masking is associated with increased anxiety, depression, burnout, loss of identity, and in some cases, suicidal ideation. When social skills programs teach masking behaviors without acknowledging these costs, they may be producing short-term social acceptability at the expense of long-term mental health and well-being.
Not at all. Neurodivergent-affirming practice does not mean abandoning social skills instruction but rather reorienting it toward goals that genuinely serve the individual. Skills that facilitate authentic social connection, self-advocacy, boundary-setting, and navigation of social situations are all appropriate targets when they are identified collaboratively with the individual and designed to build on rather than replace their natural communication style. The key distinction is between teaching skills that the individual wants and needs versus imposing behaviors that primarily serve neurotypical comfort.
This requires empathy, education, and collaboration. Parents who request goals like eye contact or reduced stimming are typically motivated by concern for their child's social acceptance and success. Behavior analysts should validate these concerns while sharing the research on masking and its consequences. Frame the conversation around long-term outcomes: the goal is sustainable social well-being, not short-term conformity that comes at a hidden cost. Offer alternative approaches that address the parent's underlying concerns, such as teaching the child to explain their communication preferences, while protecting the child's well-being. Code 2.01 requires that services serve the client's best interest, which may require education and negotiation with caregivers.
The double empathy problem challenges the assumption that social communication difficulties between autistic and non-autistic people are caused solely by autistic deficits. Instead, it frames these difficulties as resulting from a mismatch in communication styles between people with different neurotypes. For social skills instruction, this means that the burden of bridging social communication gaps should not fall entirely on the neurodivergent individual. Programs should also include education for neurotypical peers and adults about neurodivergent communication styles, environmental modifications that support diverse communication, and strategies for both parties to understand and accommodate each other.
Alternative assessment approaches include conducting structured interviews about the individual's social satisfaction and goals, observing social behavior across multiple natural contexts including contexts with other neurodivergent individuals, assessing the quality rather than the topography of social interactions, evaluating whether the individual can communicate their needs and preferences effectively, and measuring social engagement and social well-being rather than social conformity. The focus shifts from how closely does this person's behavior match neurotypical standards to how well is this person's social life working for them.
Environmental modification should be a primary component, not an afterthought. Rather than expecting the neurodivergent individual to adapt entirely to the existing social environment, behavior analysts should work to make environments more inclusive. This includes educating peers and adults about neurodivergent communication, providing sensory accommodations in social settings, creating structured social opportunities that leverage the individual's interests and strengths, and advocating for school and workplace policies that respect diverse communication styles. When the environment is more accommodating, the individual may need fewer individual social skill modifications.
Neurodivergent-affirming practice recognizes stimming as a natural regulatory behavior that serves important functions including sensory regulation, emotional expression, and cognitive processing. Rather than targeting stimming for reduction, affirming practice focuses on ensuring that stimming is available as a regulatory tool while addressing any genuinely problematic consequences. If a specific stim causes physical harm, the focus should be on finding safer alternatives that serve the same function rather than eliminating stimming entirely. If stimming is perceived as socially inappropriate, the appropriate response is often environmental accommodation and peer education rather than suppression.
The evidence base includes research on the negative consequences of social masking, studies demonstrating effective social communication among autistic individuals, research on the double empathy problem, and qualitative research documenting the lived experiences of neurodivergent people who underwent traditional social skills training. While randomized controlled trials specifically comparing affirming versus traditional approaches are still emerging, the existing evidence clearly demonstrates that traditional approaches can cause harm and that alternative frameworks are needed. The ethical principle of doing no harm, supported by Code 2.01, requires that practitioners consider this evidence in their clinical decision-making.
IEP goals should focus on functional social outcomes rather than neurotypical social behaviors. Instead of the student will make eye contact during conversation, consider the student will demonstrate attention during conversation through their preferred method such as body orientation, verbal acknowledgment, or active listening. Instead of the student will reduce stimming during class, consider the student will utilize self-regulation strategies to maintain engagement during instruction. Goals should be collaboratively developed with the student's input, focus on skills that the student identifies as meaningful, and measure genuine social engagement rather than surface-level conformity.
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All behavior-analytic intervention is individualized. The information on this page is for educational purposes and does not constitute clinical advice. Treatment decisions should be informed by the best available published research, individualized assessment, and obtained with the informed consent of the client or their legal guardian. Behavior analysts are responsible for practicing within the boundaries of their competence and adhering to the BACB Ethics Code for Behavior Analysts.